My fascinations are through the lenses..

The girl in the white room..

2011-12-16T07:25:00.001-08:00

I had a dream,when I was young. It was not that special. It was complex, but I remembered it vividly, up to every little detail, almost..

It was about this girl. I don't know her, I don't remember if I knew who she was but I remembered that she was trapped. In a very large room with white-tiled walls. Water was slowly raising up to drown her, although I'm not entirely sure where the water was from, but there was a lot of it. It almost filled up the large room.

This room was hidden in a very, very large house. It was overwhelmingly wide and it had many secret doors and hidden rooms and passages. It was a an old victorian-themed chateau with a mix of hidden modern technologies. Secret elevators and entrances that open up when you press buttons that are disguised as light switches or ordinary closet knobs. It was all so surreal, but the whole thing was flowy and almost, genuine.

I've never seen this place before. But I was there, I was supposed to protect her, I think.

Although I have never been there, I walked easily through hallway after hallway and staircase after staircase that led to God knows where. I didn't get lost, I knew where exactly I had to go, and it was towards that room where she was, trapped.

I knew where all the buttons to press were, whenever needed. I knew where all the keys were hidden. I reached that room just in time. I knew the what the code was to the silver door that separated the two of us. I twisted the dial until it could open. I never really understood how I knew the combination, but I did. The door unlocked, and I swam towards her and pulled her out of the water.

I saved her. We ran as fast as we could to escape that beautiful yet, haunting place. I don't remember what followed after that. and then, I woke up.

It was a very odd dream. I don't know what triggered it. But it had stayed with me for a long time. I never forgot about it.

Last night I had the same dream, although, a few things this time were different. It was the same big house, and it was the same white-tiled room that trapped the girl. She was wet now, her dress was soaked and she managed to climb on top of something, I didnt know what it was. Water was dripping down her hair as she hugged her knees. She was shivering, and the water was already creeping up to her ankles.

I wasn't there to save her.This time, there was a boy. He struggled to find his way to where that girl was. He didn't know where to go unlike I did. He didn't know the secret doors. He didn't know the house, but he had to do what I did when I first had that dream, and that was to save the girl who was trapped in that room.

He got lost a couple of times, and he still couldn't find the door to that room.

The water was now at the girl's neck. She had just a small space left to breathe in before he could find the door. She was so close to the ceiling and she felt so scared.

Eventually the boy found his way towards the door I found when I had the same dream a few years ago. He tried, but he couldn't open it. He didn't know the code. He didnt know how to unlock it. So he gave up.

Many times I have tried to tell him what to do, but he couldn't hear me.

I couldn't be there to save the girl. It was because, this time, the girl that was trapped in that white room, was me.

*THIS IS A TRUE STORY

Tinyente Gimo on stage! :)

2011-10-02T12:01:00.000-07:00

I have written many things before, but never one that would actually be considered as a script for a play. You probably wouldn't understand how big it is for me or for anybody in my school, but theatre is actually a thing that is appreciated by many people.

This class output became BIG when it became open to the whole school, and even to outsiders. It became even bigger when a local celebrity became part of the cast. Mr. John Arceo was glad enough to share his talents and KNOWLEDGE with us amateurs.

September 30 2011 was the day that "Palabra de Honor" was shown. I'm not here to summarize what the story is about or who the characters are, I'm here to share the experience of a first-time "playwright" that witnessed her words on stage. Is it even right to consider myself as a playwright?? I'm putting myself too much out there. I'm an amateur and I'm not even deserving to put myself beside Dennis Teodisio and more brilliant writers.

I consider myself lucky that my whole class trusted me with writing this beautiful story. My very own version of a famous Philippine folklore that haunted the country for years.

Carl Mark Pat and Dani Dincong as journalists "Benjo" and "Kristine"

Auditions for the cast started and at that time I was already getting excited. I could honestly say that La Salle is a pool of talents. We had a hard time choosing who would be part of our cast because they were all definitely really good.

In the end, we finally decided, some of the cast were from my class and the others were from different courses in the school. Despite the fact that I have been with these people ever since my first year of college, my classmates never fail to amaze me with the talents that they share. They are all wonderful actors, they managed to get the emotion that I wanted to showcase in a certain scene or line.

Rehearsals

Everyone's favorite scene. The conversation between "Lourdes" and "Rosario" was a tear-jerker, as some would say.

John Arceo and his trusty cane

They are actually enemies in the play. :))

Christine & Grace's chemistry as best friends was just PERFECT!

BEHIND THE CURTAIN (?)

backstage with Mae Ann or "Marites"

Curtain Call with Miss Jane

John sharing a funny story to ease the tension.

The whole production was great. Although we had a few minor setbacks and glitches. I'm not saying that the show we put on was perfect, but it was still great, and we had a lot of fun. I was so proud of the actors, I think the casting was perfect. The production was also very helpful with the sets, the costumes, props, music and lights. Everyone did their best, and I was very happy and thankful for them.

THANK YOU PSG and ABCO3A Production Team!!

A BIG HUG AND THANK YOU TO EVERYONEEEE <3

I was definitely proud and honored to be part of this production. It was a great privilege to work with my classmates, my schoolmates, our theatre teacher Miss Jane Quilisadio and theatre actor, Mr. John Arceo. I never in my life thought I could add "playwright" to my resume. And the fact that I DID write a play that was performed in the Gallaga Theatre for hundreds of people to see definitely made me feel legit. Maybe not yet the type that gets to win many awards and translated and performed in different cities, but this is just the beginning :)

Guess who finally had her debut

2011-09-05T00:00:00.000-07:00

A night dedicated to me! Wow, I never actually thought it was going to happen. but it did. And I can't really put words into it, but it was definitely an amazing night.I love all my friends and my family, and I want to thank them for coming and completing my night. :) THANK YOU everyone <3

Glam Rock, wacha sayyy? :)

My best friends and my sisters are the best! Love love love you all! MMWWWAAHH! :D

CEBUU :)

2011-08-30T00:20:00.000-07:00

August 26-29 2011. I was in Cebu to do something that I really love- modelling. :)
I am not a professional model, so to say, I have been invited to do runways and photoshoots a couple of times but I do it for fun. It has been something that I've never seen myself pursue, but I could say that it is at least enjoyable for me. :)

I can't really say what I was there for, it's supposed to be a secret, so I'm not sharing anything about what it is ;) Although, I could share to you guys a photo of a night I spent with two other models and our designers :)

Casa Verde with Jenna, Kathleen and the Elmsthersons.

How is it to meet an inspirational Photographer?

2011-07-26T23:30:00.000-07:00

photo by: Aeson Baldevia

today I met Kim Komenich.

I felt soooo starstruck, Kim Komenich is just one of the photographers who lived to freeze moments of the Edsa Revolution in film.

Earlier in the day, me and my classmates Marc, Cleo, Aeson and Dani went to visit the Museo de La Salle to check out the exhibit of "some foreign photographer" turns out, his pictures were reaaaally wonderful. They were taken during the time of the people power in almost every event that took place. He had pictures of wars, riots, deaths, Filipino depictions of bad leadership, soldiers, Marcos, Cory's oath-taking, Cory in office, and pretty much everything that took place during that time.

The best part of his photographs were that they showed so much depth that you'd feel as if you're in that exact moment, and you are living vicariously with those people, sharing the same emotions and struggles.

Whenever, Edsa Revolution/People Power is being talked about, I usually just don't care because I have the mentality that I wasn't even born during that time and that I never went through that, and I'm never gonna have to. I am however, aware that the country suffered from the dictator that is Marcos, but I also deem that it is pointless to make such a big fuss about it. I know it sounds very insensitive, but it's just me. As much as I understand how these events had affected so many people's lives, I just didn't find it in my heart to care, until now.

I saw the pictures in the exhibit of Kim Komenich, and I realized that he has been around the country(and the world) so much. It struck me even more when I saw the local pictures that were taken in Murcia, Banago, and just anywhere in Negros Occidental. It felt too close to home, it felt real, as if, although it happened a long time ago, in a way, it happened to me. My parents went through it, my grandparents fought against it, my aunts, and uncles, and even some of my cousins; they were there, and it could have been them in the photographs, those who were crying, those who were working in the farms, those who were in Edsa, fighting for their freedom, or worse, those who were dead.

When I found out that the photographer behind those beautiful photographs was in the school for a talk, I was so giddy. You couldn't understand how much I idolized this guy instantly after just a few minutes of entering his life during the 80's. I was really stoked, I wanted to meet him and ask him so many questions. People would not get the enthusiasm I feel towards meeting a photographer like him, it can only be explained in a way that I am like a 3 year old who was about to meet Santa Claus. I was glad Miss Hannah introduced me to be his assistant, but he didn't need much help in his presentation, I was just glad to be there and listen.

His film about looking for the people whose photographs he took during his stay here in the Philippines throughout the EDSA Revolution was touching. He found those people and their lives have been changed in different ways. Each person has a beautiful story to tell and I wish that video could also be shared to the rest of the world. It was very inspiring, and genuine and the man behind it all was just sitting there, making funny comments about his hair, how he looks, and the different people he met. Outside content, the material was also technically beautiful, the background music used, the environmental shots, the camera angles and lighting during the interviews, and the way the story was told. All in all, it was a great experience to realize the strength of the history of my country and how it affected the lives of many people, including, Mr. Komenich.

I was proud of being in the same room with him, he is very talented, and inspirational, and it was really nice to meet him.

Did I mention he won the 1987 Pulitzer Prize for the pictures he took? Oh and he is a hero too. ;)

http://weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/17054/kim-komenich-stops-bank-robbery/

http://kimkom.com/

May Natitira Pa Bang Good Samaritan sa Mundong ito?

2011-07-22T23:04:00.000-07:00

today I went to an unplanned out-of-town trip with six of my friends.

We just had one exam, and it ended at 8:30 am. Seeing as there is nothing to do really, we planned to head home early, until Aeson suggested that we go somewhere far and just chill. Then Anika and Cleo immediately agreed because they wanted to stay somewhere and talk. We all thought it was a great idea because, our class doesn't bond anymore. In first year, we used to go together in a large group somewhere and spend half of the day in that place, mostly just talking, having fun and what not. I miss those times, and I'm glad we went today.

Don Salvador is a 1 hour and 20 minute commute away from Bacolod, I had no idea why we chose to go to that place specifically, it had something to do with the day being really hot, and seeing as Don Salvador was the "Baguio" of Negros Occidental we all went for it.

There were a lot of instances that almost stopped our trip from happening. We didn't know exactly where to go, what to ride, how much money we should spend. It was just a spur-of-the-moment decision, we were even in our school uniforms, but we were all excited and we didn't make any other thing stop us from getting to our destination.

The ride took really long because of the waiting, but it was not boring at all because me and my friends started singing, loudly if I must say, old songs like from the Carpenters, etc. basically in that genre. The people around us didn't mind, some of them were even smiling. I tell you, people are really nice, if it was me, I would have been annoyed by these loud students disturbing the peace of the other passengers.

When we arrived, we wanted to trek the cliff side. We took pictures, we walked, trekked rather, we laughed, danced, basically whatever it is you do in an adventure. When we got hungry, we looked for a store that could sell us lunch, but we couldn't find one. So we kept on looking and looking. Up we go, it was reaaally tiring, but we finally found one.

It was a common sari-sari store or tiangge in our dialect that sells chips and soft drinks. When we saw that they were selling canned goods, we asked the lady if they were also selling rice, adn she was just glad to cook for us. We were so happy that we could finally get to eat. However, we knew that it would take a while for her to cook so we decided to continue trekking, and just come back when the food was already cooked.

We were a good few meters higher away when it started to trickle drops of water. We were stuck between the decision of running back to the tiangge(it was really far, and it was scary to run on a downhill road) or running into higher ground with big leaves to shade us. We decided the shade was closer, we were stuck there for more than five minutes when we decided if we could hitch a ride. It rained harder, and the shade couldn't hold much of the water anymore, it was getting into the leaves and it was not long before we were getting wet. Sadly, none of the drivers probably thought we were serious when we were waving towards them, or just none of them was nice enough to ever let strangers ride in their cars. It was kind of disappointing to us anyway, because of the realization that there are no more kind people in the world, wala na talagang Good Samaritan. Of course, I understand, we probably looked like a gang, with a modus operandi or whatever, but we were seriously wet, and the road was very dangerous.

I started running downhill, towards the tiangge, we were already wet anyway so I thought, what the heck. And soon they all followed. It rained harder, so covering my head with my bag was pointless. Marc and Aeson ran ahead of us. Me and Cleo took of our shoes and ran also, and then Alyanna, Anika and Rhaizza tried to fit themselves in one umbrella, and failed.

As soon as we reached the tiangge, we were all soaking wet, and there were other locals who were also there looking for a shade from the rain. Imagine our shock when the woman who owns the tiangge invited us in to have lunch inside her house. Of course, Filipino perceptions about towns are not usually appealing. Towns are said to be places where "aswangs" live and hide. Unwritten rules in travelling to towns include not being too trusting of the locals.

But we had no choice, it was raining really hard, and it seemed offensive to decline their harmless offer. Once we got inside the house, my apprehensions were all gone. The owners of the house seemed like a very nice couple with wonderful children, whom I knew through their certificates and pictures hung on the walls of their tiny home.

"May Natitira Pa nga bang Good Samaritan sa Mundo?"

Definitely. This couple invited into their home seven strangers, and despite the fact that they were soaking wet and presented so many hassles to the husband and wife, they still fed them.

I feel bad that I hesitated about coming in inside their house, they had no other intention but to keep us safe from the rain and make us comfortable, and here I was judging them of being "aswangs."

I was glad that I met people like them, I thought this sort of thing only happens in movies, and those movies usually end up as an urban legend or a serial killer story. Little do they know, that people in towns who live in small houses should never be judged immediately. Based on my experience, they are a lot nicer than those people who drive fancy cars.

photos by: Aeson Baldevia

UNDRESS?? and wash

2011-07-11T20:10:00.000-07:00

(for Advertising class)

A little more than 2 years ago, when I went to Cebu for our Seniors Trip in high school I came across this billboard for a laundry shop.

My intial reaction after seeing the photo was that it was very provocative, and liberated.

Naturally, the country Philippines is very conservative, and as a 15-year old in a catholic country, that was very, lets say, different, for me to see.

Now, as I have learned the basics in advertising, I realize that it was a very bold move for that certain laundry shop to use that kind of material and incorporate it with their brand name.

In plain communication process, their message was simple."Undress and wash in 25 minutes." They have a fast service that even when you want them to wash the clothes you were wearing at that exact moment you went inside their shop, they could do it, and you won't even bother covering up, because you could wear it again in minutes.

It achieved the cognitive response that aroused the minds of the people who get to see this brand. There is no name or contact of the laundry shop but it is strategically located on top of the laundry shop itself.

Then it generates people's attitudes through the medium that is the billboard whether they would find it offensive or effective thus resulting them to either use the service, or not.

Kit - Kat has an idea.

2011-07-10T22:56:00.000-07:00

(for Advertising Class)

The first worldwide site where nothing happens.

Kit-Kat has a creative idea of creating a viral advertisement that works-without working.

We all know that Kit-Kat's tagline is "Have a break, Have a kit-kat."

Contrary to other social networking sites that we often could not get enough of because there is always something to do, kitkat's site (thefirstworldwidesitewherenothinghappens) is a site page where absolutely nothing happens. You visit the site and it loads with a list of different activities that take our time, like girlfriend, internet, traffic, jump, play and many more. Once the page is loaded, We see the tag lige "Have a Break" positioned exactly where those words were found flashing.

http://www.thefirstworldwidewebsitewherenothinghappens.com/

The site has a minimalistic approach of having a white background, the tag line "Have a Break" and the sentence "The first worldwide website where nothing happens" on the upper left side with the font style of the kit-kat logo and just the time at the upper right side.Ocassionally however, there are small things happenning, like a bug flying across the screen. Probably applicable to the small written line in the bottom part of the site where they mentioned that if you spot something happening, report it to their company and you will be rewarded.

It garnered countless reactions all over the internet, like somehow it was pointless, and it was a wasted gimmicky effort. It left other people poking around the website waiting for something to happen and leaves them annoyed and somewhat feeling stupid for falling for it. But just like what my Advertising teacher said, "The company probably didn't want you to like the product itself, just the mere fact of uttering it from your mouth makes them happy."

Basically this online advertisement has gone viral and it does have the desired effect.

Seriously, go to that site, and spend maybe just 30 seconds staring at it. You will soon realize that you do need a break. Next thing you'd do? Probably look for a kit-kat just like I did, eat it, and then continue on your work for the day. Simple, yet creative (and effective!) way of advertising.

What makes an effective advertisement?

2011-07-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

(for Advertising Class)

A few months ago, I came across a few videos in youtube released by the Coca- Cola Company. These videos were not meant to be an advertisement, but they served as one anyway.

These videos are about the so-called Coca Cola Happiness Trucks that provide happiness to wherever they are. These trucks mysteriously park in public places where a lot of people could see it, and there is a large “push” button that is very noticeable even to those who just pass by. After pressing the button, the person is given a bottle of coke, or anything that would be of interest to that person depending on the place where the truck parks. In beaches, the truck shares Frisbees, shades, foldable chairs, and surfboards. By the streets they give out skateboards, balls, toys, roses, and teddy bears. It is a wonderful gesture of just giving generously without asking for any mode of payment. The people who get gifts from this “happiness truck” are thankful, but have no idea who exactly to thank.

In a way, this strategy became effective to consumers because it gained them loyalists and people’s attention- that Coca-cola is out there, doing things like these that humbles their company down, and gives them a better reputation than all the other companies who try to seem aggressive.

One viewer from the youtube video commented,

I love that there are big corporate companies still doing thing like this; Forget about the money for a day and just remind us all how capable of compassion humans are. Amazing video, brightened up my day :)

Number3NeverForget

Another said:

For coca-cola that was a little happiness for them ..

but for that people its a biggest happiness they get :)

lurzax

and then more and more similar comments were shared.

Nicest thing ever! Nice one coke :)

TheHDlemon

I think this idea of the Coca-Cola Company is both for Sales Promotion and Public Relations. After seeing this project, people would get encouraged to buy coke instead of any other product, thus giving them more profit and more buyers. The idea of sharing without asking for anything in return benefits them by gaining them a respectable brand name which is I think what their communication objective was.

To say that it followed the Integrated Marketing Communications or IMC Strategy is an understatement, seeing as Coca- Cola already has many different slogans and catch phrases such as “Life Tastes Good,” “Make it Real” and “Open Happiness” internationally then locally we hear “Buhay Coke, Buksan Mo” and it does make you feel that, once you open a bottle of coke, you open up into a life that is good and happy.

As effective as all the other commercials Coca-Cola has produced both internationally and locally, their idea of making the “Happiness Truck” served the same purpose, because psychologically the truck with the name “Coke,” “opens” when it is pushed and it gives you something that could make you happy.

The video ends with the phrase “Where will happiness strike next?” and it leaves the viewers hoping that it could be their place. The happiness this promotion provides is genuine and you could really see it through the smiles in the faces of those people coke has given happiness to.

APPLE, Mac, iPod.

2011-06-24T18:31:00.000-07:00

(for Advertising Class)

What makes a brand work? Is it a logo? A name? Or maybe, the person selling it? Whatever it is, we sure know that the Apple Company is doing it right, most especially on their product, the iPod. There really is something about the iPod that almost everything can be connected to it. The moment this extraordinary invention came to the market, people couldn't wait to get their hands on it. Just the word itself, “iPod” make you want to go ahead and purchase it.

The typeface of the word “iPod” is plain, and simple. Somehow this adds to the strategy that once you see it, you are never going to forget it. It stays in your head for a really long time, and in a way this has been a huge help to the makers of the Apple.

The simple concept of the small letter “i” before the “Pod” was the doorway to how iPod stands in markets now. The world has been bombarded with different versions of the “iPod” may it be promotion for the product itself, or countless spoofs of any kind that originated since the fad that is THE iPod began. Admit it, iPod is everywhere.

The Apple Company very wisely planned the advertising of their products such as strategically launching their 1984 Macintosh Commercial during the super bowl season, and the one that we are all familiar with: the famous "iPod people" which was released during the so-called new millennium or the start of the year 2000.

These "iPod people" are silhouettes of dancing men and women wearing an iPod (drawn in white) in front of neon-colored backgrounds. Simple, but eye-catching, and definitely, effective advertising.

These were made into billboards and posters that were basically almost anywhere. When you pass by a certain street or look up at certain signs, public transportation, even in staircases you see these iPod people, teasing you.

The first iPod television commercials were made in the same pattern, however the silhouettes were really dancing and there is an upbeat background music (Techno Logic by Daft Punk) that goes along with their movements.

This is the link to the commercial:

You see these advertisements of dancing silhouettes in both print and television and it makes you want to buy your own iPod and dance or jive to the beats you hear from it. This became their trademark. Once we see a silhouette with a neon-colored background, we then look for the white outline of the iPod because we already understand that this is APPLE.

Basically after the success of their advertisement, they knew that the product would then eventually conquer the digital market.

Now we see the iPod nano, iPod shuffle, iTunes, iPad, iPhone, and probably everything else you can add with "i". Because of the success of the release of the first iPod, consumers knew that they could trust this product and they keep buying because of that certain consistency.

For humor, we see other famous personalities' silhouettes in a neon background with an iPod incorporated into it.

Basically, as consumers we get the feeling that buying an iPod could make us enjoy music. Aside from that fact, we get an extra win because iPods come with different functions like viewing pictures and videos and playing games which are not present in other mp3 players.

For me, Apple definitely followed the IMC or the Integrated Marketing Communications strategy because their message: to let the people see the way an iPod "could make you want to listen and start busting a move" was consistent. Each advertisement was the same, each meant to make consumers feel the same way even if they were reflected through different materials.

Buyers would buy products, just because it is Apple. New versions of the iPad, iPhone, and more Apple products are always bestsellers because people already trust this brand. And it all began with a dancing silhouette.

CALLING CARD

2011-06-18T17:07:00.000-07:00

(for Advertising Class)

Delving into the fashion industry and creating one of your own businesses is probably one of the hardest challenges a person could face. However, it did not stop Bea Rodriguez from making a name for herself in both aspects. Say hello to the creative director of “Queen B” one of Philippines’ top modelling agencies, and fashion labels.

Elegant and sophisticated, I had to find a way to reflect her simple yet classy look into the business card she asked me to design for her.

Manila Weekend - Update 1

2011-05-11T01:57:00.000-07:00

Manila Weekend - Update 1 from LAD Films on Vimeo.

video version. - Day 1 ♥

Five Nights, Five Girls, One Room

2011-04-14T06:18:00.006-07:00

I’ve never been in a dorm before, and I’ve never experienced having roommates that are not related to me whatsoever. Fieldtrip nights spent in a hotel room doesn’t count, I figured getting the benefit of all kinds of luxuries and what-not is a different experience altogether. I guess the feeling of living in a communal way was not something I’ve always looked forward to, however, just last week, I got to spend five days with four of my friends in a room that couldn’t even be counted as a room. I’d give props to us and two other roommates for our tolerance for a room in an unfinished resort with only two large beds without foam, and no air-conditioning, electric fan nor water in the comfort room. The first day was surreal; it was like a huge slap in the face, like a back-to-basics challenge, or like an episode in Survivor, except we were given the luxury of a roof. By the time we were about to sleep, all our apprehensions were trifled down. Finally, we had electricity, we were given pillows, and blankets, and bless one of our roommates who lived in the vicinity, provided us with extra pillows, and an electric fan. Imagine the comfort of seven girls trying to fit in two wood beds- I bet you can’t. We all woke up with painful backs; each of us tired and not wanting to wake up with several different complaints.

However, the reason why we were gathered was different. We get to spend one week in Bantayan, a small island in the Philippines with hopes of transforming it into a better place with 2000 other delegates from around the country, and outside as well. The Gawad Kalinga Bayani Challenge 2011 was a 1-week affair that provided different activities for different teams that were to “gawad kalinga” or “give help” to those who live in the island. Teams were sent in different sites with different tasks, and our team was to refurbish one of the villages there. With half the team in one room, you could imagine we’d have a lot to talk about in the ride to the HQ or at the site, but no, it was awkward and quiet, just like the night before.

In the middle of the day however, all those invisible barriers were broken, and I could say that there was improvement in our bond. We were each in our comfort zones, and we were not afraid to let other members of the team in. Day 1 at the site proved to be a challenge, while all the other teams in the same site were easily digging to their sides of the road; ours was busy trying to break the huge rocks that were too hard to shatter. While everybody was being productive, our road was the only part of the village where development was slow. Other teams proceeded to the cork stoppers, and digging two-inch deep spaces for gravel. As work time was nearing the end, we made a couple of new friends from the neighbourhood. Considering the fact that we had a language barrier, it is not hard to make friends with little children because just a simple smile is already an understanding. By the afternoon, all teams were already at the beach for the beach sports competitions.

It was a fun day, filled with laughter and work and smiles and fulfilment but nothing prepared us for the days to come. The night ended with happy cheers and lots of new insights. Our burdens concerning our room lessened. We had water supply, and our two other roommates transferred. It was bittersweet because we wanted to bond with them but we also somehow needed lesser people in the room. Anyway, I guess it all worked out in the end.

So here we are, back to where we began: five nights, five girls, one room.

Most of what happened in those five nights are never to be shared. I guess it was an unwritten pact, that somehow “what happens in Room 1 stays in Room 1.” Probably not everything. But waking up every day in a room you share with four girls could somehow change you. Different personalities that seem to just mesh well with the other; Sacrifices were made, stories were told, and a bond was formed.

Day 2 in the site endowed members of the team with different pride and frustrations. I was proud of us for doing an excellent job helping in adding the gravel in the roads, and being trusted to work by the mayor, and all the other higher officials that served there. However, we were still frustrated at the same rocks that presented us with too many delays the day before. I’m just happy that teams from other places were willing to help us with no questions asked. It just goes to show that it is easier to work when all of you are working for the same goal.

The next three days were easy, as to what was left for us to do was paint the houses. Our team has painted three different houses in total, but we still go back in working to get rid of the rocks from time to time. Also our friends multiplied, and we had a lot of children to play with as well as students our age from other schools.

The nights differed from the days. After a long and hard day’s work, we revived ourselves in the beach, swimming or playing Frisbee, or actually playing officiated Frisbee. I’m now proud to say that I’m a Frisbee “athlete” and our team won second place.

Basically, the week I spent in the island of Bantayan was a good exposure. The complaints we made from our first night couldn’t compare to the complaints people living in the villages we helped refurbish could have made. And to think they’ve been living, and would be living there for most of their lives. They never whined about the way they lived, all they had was gratitude, towards us, for helping them, for being there for them and I wanted to slap myself for even complaining in the first place. GK Bayani Challenge 2011 made me realize, although I’m lucky for living the way I do, I should still thank them, because they are the people who makes me realize the worth of my actions. Just like what Kuya Jaypee said, “Kung napapasaya namin kayo, higit na mas napapasaya niyo kami.” I am happy for the people who live there that are just willing to give us more despite of what they have. I feel lucky to have met people like them, and understand that no matter how rich or how poor a person can be, it is the giving heart that matters, and because of that I will never forget them.

not a review, but an insight

2011-04-14T06:08:00.000-07:00

Although I have promised many times that this blog will not have a review of any kind, I’m sort of counteracting with that original plan. I have come across the books Francesca’s Kitchen by Peter Pezelli and A Whole New Life by Betsy Thornton in my collection, and loved it. They were compiled in a single paperback copy in large print. The two stories were very contradicting, as the first story was almost familial, written in a quiet and comforting manner that is usually for easy reading. The other one however is an edge-of-your-seat type of story with twists and climactic plots that are common in most of the detective-lawyer type books I own. However, the meshing of two different stories was quite new to me, as I read them one after the other. Usually, after reading a crime book, I would read another, and then another and it would take a long time before I read a book in another genre. The same goes to a blithe story; I would read another with the same field and sometimes maybe even read a love story, and then a long gap before I read another action-packed novel. I know, I read a lot of books. But back to the two, they sort of balance out each other, even though they’re directed at the exact opposite direction. Each story is short; I got to finish reading them at a day each. Both stories were intriguing, touching and seamless. What I could never forget however was the line from Francesca’s Kitchen:

There is something sweetly inexplicable that passes between two people who aren’t destined to meet when one day, after wandering often aimlessly through life, the heavens finally fall into alignment, and they happen upon each other unexpectedly. It is not quite, though some might call it so, the proverbial love at first sight that strangers sometimes experience, for in truth, the two find in each other something extraordinarily familiar and comforting. It is more a feeling of profound recognition than anything else, one that brings with it a sense of relief, as if their hearts are simply saying to each other, “Oh, there you are. Where have you been? I’ve been looking all over for you for the longest time.”

I’m not really a believer of the cliché love-at-first sight, but just the thought made me wonder, if it’s true for some people, it might be true for me too. Then there unlocks another hopeless romantic dream that just seems too scatty and obnoxious, in my case. So thanks to “A whole New Life” I forgot all about the thought of finding my very own chance encounter to “love-at-first-sight” and understand the realities of what other people are facing, like divorce, and all the other negative situations that are realistic (in the most not cynical way I could possibly explain.)

Our very own weekend with the Maine

2011-02-23T19:28:00.000-08:00

As soon as we heard that the band The Maine was coming to Manila, me and my friends Alfonse and Vincent were off the edges of our seats, inviting whoever and planning whatever. Its a huge plan(in my case) to fly wherever just to watch a rock concert. I mean, what would my mom think? lol, but I asked her and convinced her. The next question was, my grandpa. So after a connivance with my mom, he said YES. :DD

Sadly Vincent couldn't come, because he'd rather attend his Saturday Nursing Class than watch the best band ever play live. So it was me, Alfonse and Aron, who was coming to watch We The Kings. But first, we had to endure our Accounting Class, that ends at 8:30pm. :/

Then because of excitement, we had no sleep. Straight ahead to the airport, groggy, and well, excited. ;D BTW, our flight was at 5am.

And then of course, the plane ride that takes reeeeaaaally long when you're me and can't wait to breathe the same air the Music Gods are breathing. I talk like such a fan-girl. haha! :P

We had fun during the flight though, talking nonsense, sleeping, and making fun of stewardesses and the bald pilot, and other passengers.

And then finally, we have arrived. Playing around in the Manila Airport and what-not.

Until Jacob came to pick us up, because Beau was such a pussy and couldn't wake up.

And off we went to Marian's apartment, until we decided on a place to eat for breakfast. Yehay Pancake House! :D

And then off we go, the three Amigos. :)) Jake & Marian left us at the train station to go to a place where Beau could easily pick us up. It took a while to convince Alfonse to ride the MRT, it was so funny the way he really refused to go, me and Aron was all up for it, heck, it was an adventure for us, we might get lost, but we didn't really care. :))

see what I mean?

Then we went around the mall to eat and eat and eat until Beau could finally arrive, he was 2 hours late. :/

Jared Monaco's tweet. ♥

After Beau picked us up, we went to his house to rest for a few hours, eat(some more) and fix ourselves.
Khen was also there.

And then off we go to Market Market to watch the bands' third show in the Philippines. woot2x! :D

with We The Kings and Never Shout Never.

NSN was up first, I wasn't really a fan of Never Shout Never but they sound better live. so now, i like them. :D

and then, THE MAINE ♥

John O spam. haha

and then We The Kings was up next.

Aron couldn't contain his fan-girlness anymore. LOL

Hello Travis Clark!

We ate dinner at Gerry's Grill after the show then went around for a while until we got tired and went home. :D what a day! :))

hello to the gayest jump shot ever. haha :))

DAY 2:

Waking up late and eating lunch at Khen's favorite place - North Park (again?)

and then looked for Alfonse's friend Mariana to watch the show again, this time, in Alabang Town Center.

doesn't this picture just look really funny? HAHAHA :DD

although, I just sort of realized, we had no picture with/of Mariana and her other friend Miles and yet we hung out with them for almost the whole day. Counting of course those long hours of being crammed inside a small taxi.

Dinner at Burger King, and went home, through taxi. :/

Then midnight foodtrip.

And Chronicles of our past adventures, according to the story teller, Beau.

No sleep later, and we were off to the airport, to go back home. :(

And of course attempted to shop and played around in the airport until our flight.

And then our 4am flight.

spot Raina who was also in Manila on the same weekend to watch the Taylor Swift Concert.

HOME SWEET HOME.

So this was basically another weekend with the boys in Manila. I had so much fun, I got to watch my favorite band play live, and I fell in love with two other bands. Thank God good music still exists in the world today :D I wish I could have another week like this, someday. :P One of the best weekends of 2011. YEAHBOYY!! :P

the end, has no end.

2011-02-06T05:11:00.000-08:00

There is something about this picture that I find very attractive.

I found it on tumblr while I was reblogging and I just couldn't stop staring at it. There's something about it's minimalistic graphic that just draws me in, and the thought of "The end has no end" and having it written in a circle is just pure genius. It makes sense, like art. Although there is no abstract painting involved in this picture, just pure minimalism, which I love. :)

you, and you

2011-01-25T08:48:00.001-08:00

i am not quite sure I have any idea what I want to talk about at this very moment. I just want to talk. that's all. I want to talk to you, but I'm not certain who YOU are. Are you the one I've always seen as a friend, or are you the one whom I've always wanted to be more than that? See this is where I'm getting in trouble with most days. The confusion, because I am not sure exactly who I want. :(
It's not like a decision that life depended on, it's a decision that I don't like to make.
I think I actually am falling for you, but somehow, I don't want to believe it. I still think we should be just friends, that's all we've ever been, that's what I'm used to. But then everyone tells me I'm just in denial. I don't know, you've always made me happy, always been there for me, but how come I'm reacting this way now? I don't understand it.
And you,I was pretty sure I'm already over you, but then this happens, and then, I just don't know anymore.

This blog has too much hidden stories behind it, so I'd probably just end it now.

Make way for my new drugs.

2010-12-20T08:04:00.000-08:00

I am such a series geek. :|

And up until this semester, I've become a movie geek.

Ever since having 5-hour breaks on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I have been renting and watching old and new movies with Marc and Cleo, occasionally, with Bea and Benjo too.

But seriously, this sem, I have watched at least more than twenty movies.

During the sembreak however, I started with the new series I'm getting into. Before, I was obsessed with One Tree Hill, Gossip Girl and Prison Break. No intervals per episode. I could lie in bed the whole day and watch a marathon of these shows. OTH was my first addiction. I watched season 1 of Gossip Girl in Manila, and when I didn't continue, I did not mind because Prison Break was totally 500x better. I finished until season 6 of OTH coz the continuation had no more Lucas and Peyton, and I loved that they were part of the original cast. I finished until the last season of Prison Break. It was a GENIUS show! I feel bad that not a lot of people watched it. Then my constant on and off addiction to all the CSIs. don't ask, CSI is just good like that.

Anyway, lately, I've had new Series-addictions. However, they are unlike the ones I used to watch. I just watch these shows in youtube, not DVD and they're not the typical teenage drama I always watch. They are sitcom. LOL.

First would be VICTORIOUS.

I know, right? At first, I thought it was kinda Zoey101-ish. Actually it is. but I loved it anyway. The characters are soo funny, and the way that they are all mixed in a dysfunctional way just kind of makes sense.
My favorite character is Jade.

She's not gothic, emo, nor punk. She's not even witchy. She's just dark and mean, and bitchy most of the time. I like that she's like the antagonist but she's part of the team. She's very blunt but still vulnerable when it comes to her hottie boyfriend, Beck.

She's a mean girl not in a Regina George kind of way and her boyfriend kind of balances her. Avan Jogia, the guy who plays Beck is smmmexy, hahaha :))

Next would be Sonny With A Chance:

I actually never really cared for this show before, I just watch it when it's on. I like Wizards better, but I've actually watched every episode of this because I found myself craving for what will happen to "Channy"-- Chad and Sonny,

It is so cute the way they always fight and get in each others necks but its so obvious that they like each other.

The next one is not a sitcom, but still a comedy.
10 things I hate about you series of the ABC family is based on the 1999 movie starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles and Joseph Gordon- Levitt
I also love the chemistry between Kat and Patrick Verona of the 2010 version because its like a cat-and-dog relationship. Patrick is the mysterious "dangerous" type of guy that most girls would be afraid of(but still want.) and Kat sees through all that, but still falls for him despite her thinking she's too smart to be fooled.
story of my life.

Last but not the least, and THIS one I'm totally addicted to: SKINS.

Skins is a British drama series that is about the life of a teenager. Finally, a real drama series. I fell in love with all of the characters, they are all fucked up, in a way. They're not the typical stereotypes of American stories, no cheerleaders, jocks or nerds. They're almost the real deal, except a bit too exaggerated, but I love them nonetheless.
The show is very sexy and mature. It has nudity, drugs and well, all the normal teenage stuff that our parents pretend they never went through.
What made me love the Skins series is not just the story of each character. The actors are great, the plot constantly changing is different,but good. Their accents, and Mitch Hewer is just icing on the cake.
The way Skins play out is unlike any other series. Every two seasons, they change the whole cast to a new set of teenagers with a new set of story and baggage. In a way, it's good, coz you dont get bored with the characters, but I hope I won't miss them. I'm just in between the second season. I'm still at my first generation of characters, Currently, its at the third, so at the moment, I'm not letting go of Maxxie Oliver and Tony Stonem yet.

This blog is not supposed to be a review of these shows, but I could say they are all pretty cool shows. ;)

There is something about turning 18. :D

2010-12-12T04:36:00.000-08:00

i have been attending a lot of debuts lately. for a span of three months, I've been to six. It was supposedly seven, but I was too lazy to attend one.
Actually, this school year, a lot of my friends are turning/turned 18. I am soo late, but what the heck, I'll have my turn! :D

When I was young, I never dreamed of celebrating a debut. I'm not really fond of the formality of a cotillion and wearing a huge puffy dress or a ball gown. But everything has changed, there is some kind of modern twist in debuts now. They are mostly themed, and required no dancing, except for during party time.

I feel like the character of Katherine Heigl in "27 Dresses" except, instead of weddings, I'm at debuts, celebrating the night with my girlfriends, wanting of having my own in the future.(which I will, but not yet.)

First up, Marian's.
The theme was "Candyland/Sailor-y" im not so sure. but it was so cute the way everyone was all dressed up, even the boys!

It was soo colorful and kids-y. filled with candies and bubbles and all the things that could remind you of your childhood.

Marian is cute like that!

Another one I attended after that was Anika's 18th.

The theme was "dazzle" so we all had to wear something bedazzling and glittery.
I went with my friend Raina and got dressed at her house. Our contrast was so funny. She dressed like a princess, and I was was somehow punk-ish.

Our classmates even joked us about being the "Taylors" she was Taylor Swift and I was Taylor Momsen, of course I had less make-up. I'm not a fan.
Oh yeah, the acoustic band we decided on making? We started it. and we performed for Anika's birthday too. It was awesome, we sang an acoustic version of Teenage Dream.

"The Feelers" ? not a nice name for a starting band, Marc. haha we'll get there, soon enough...
TITI! I missed this group! It's been so long since this quintet was complete.
Benjo hanging out with the "big" mamas :D
And an artsy treat from Aeson Baldevia, my photographer friend :)

And the latest debut: Kristine's!

With the moonlight theme, everyone was wearing either black, white, or silver.

Oh, and we sang again, plus Cleo and Dani, we even had a capella version of Firework. Hmmm Katy Perry Songs? There is a pattern, I see..
It was a fun birthday party! :D
After, we went to Sorrento for more fun.
And that's exactly what we had. :D I'm funny when I'm drunk, ask my friends! :D
I mean, race in the middle of the road?? That's me and Kate. haha!
And we all hung out until sober and morning. Hello Mcdonalds for breakfast(?)

Basically, the debuts I attended inspired me for a theme for my own. I can't wait! :D See you guys August 31st next year!! :D

shopping?

2010-11-18T06:06:00.001-08:00

i am such a bad influence. well maybe if Marc didn't willingly skip class with me, i would feel guilty.
Today we weren't too lazy(unlike always) to skip class, but did anyway. He came with me to find a dress for Kristine's debut. Cleo couldn't come with us, so the trio was incomplete.
I've never been fond of shopping, ever since I was a little girl. Shopping time will always be a win-win situation for my sister ONLY, not the two of us. I wouldn't be in the mood to keep fitting and looking for clothes, so she'd be able to ask my opinion of what I think she looks like dress after countless dresses. And don't get me started on shoes, accessories and make-up, I don't understand why it would take her half an hour to pick from two palettes that look the same to me. I'm such a guy.
But today, I kind of needed to buy a dress, and no I did not want my sister's help in any way. It was the right decision after all, I ended up buying after an hour, and just 4 dresses to fit. It would've taken half the day if I was with my her, haha. :)
I don't really know what I hate about shopping, maybe I just don't enjoy it as much as some people such as my sister. I hate it when a dress looks good on the rack, and not on yourself, I hate it when you are not allowed to fit white outfits, I hate the tiny fitting rooms, I hate having to fit clothes just so its the right size, I hate wasting so much money on something I'd only probably use once.
But it was okay, I guess. Today's experience just gave me more proof of my guy-ness.

outside dreams and sleeping

2010-11-01T00:40:00.000-07:00

I've been dreaming a lot lately. I know it's insignificant. I have the same dreams, they're not repeating dreams, but they somehow give me the same feeling every time I wake up. That feeling, that you want to go back to sleep again. It isn't merely because of the fact that I LACK sleep, as in really LACK sleep because I have insomnia every day or every other day, on and off for almost a month now. I know I need sleep, but that feeling that I'm talking about will be lost if I hadn't dreamed at all.

In some ways, the same dream is present even without sleep. On those sleepless nights, my thoughts linger back towards the dream. My eyes are open, but my mind is totally some place else. I read from somewhere this is what you call micro sleep. Micro sleeps last from a fraction of a second to more than half a minute. Sometimes, I don't even know what's real anymore.

Like, I thought we're already okay, but the next time I see you, you still don't talk to me.

Those dreams are about you. Just you sometimes, You're not even dead but you feel like a ghost, haunting me. Always there, wherever I am. I told myself to forget about you. You've hurt me, but somehow, the way I've always denied you to everyone, the way I've always sworn to my friends that I'm not in love with you anymore, made you come back.

Its sick, whenever I see you beside me when I go to bed and hear your voice, and remember the past. I hate it when I still feel your hand intertwined with mine even though you're not there. Could this be possible? Am I going insane?

The only theory that could save me from becoming a fool is to accept that I'm still. not. over. you.

Now matter how hard I deny the truth, I still know deep within me that I still love you. I wish I wont be able to sleep, so I can't dream of you. But I still think about you even if I'm awake.

I can't even look at you now. It's hard to think, that what used to be so fun before are just mere memories now. And I'm pretty sure the next time you hold my hand again, I would need to wake up.

Beanca's gleeful eighteenth.

2010-10-24T23:31:00.000-07:00

The Proper "Last Friday Night Blog"

Remember when I promised my self that I would take Katy Perry's song literally? well, I did.

There's a stranger on my bed,

There's a pounding on my head,

Glitter all over the room,

Yeah, we danced on tabletops

and we took too many shots,

Yeah, I think we broke the law. OH wait, we did. SHHHH

Oh, it was such an epic fail! :D

hahahaha!

Last Friday Night, October 22, 2010 was the celebration of Beanca's debut. AWESUM. She could relate to the Last-friday-night reference because she was also with me during the first "Last-friday-night" incident, along with Marc and Alfred. see this: LAST-LAST Friday Night

So anyway, it was a suuper cute, colorful, and fun party. It was glee-themed, and I dont know how you could theme a party that way, but the music were all glee-ish. It was like a musical party. It was so cute how her 18 "wishes" became 18 serenades, and I was one of them.

I was part of games with NEW and MATURE(?) mechanics. let's just say, the teenagers enjoyed that game, LOL. It consisted of running, dancing, candles, glasses, circles and shots HAHA.

I thought me and my partner was going to win, (almost) oh well, we got 3rd place out of twelve pairs, yaayy!

My favorite part was the kind-of reunion of me and my grade school friends.

the DAJ4(oh please dont ask what it means, we were immature and waaay too corny back in grade school!)

who gave an embarrassing(but fun) song number.

and the 6GEM

I never knew how much I missed them, and MISSED OUT on them. They all GREW UP, we all did. But I missed their high school, coz I was the only one who went to a different school. It was fun seeing them again :D

Although I hung out mostly with my college friends,

We all bonded together towards the end.

I hope we could do this again soon, it was fun merging old friends with new friends, and the best part was being in between. ;)

GK weekend

2010-10-17T01:42:00.000-07:00

last weekend was a star/politician studded weekend. I was back in Manila for the 2010 GK Expo with Team NEGROS, and I had sooo many memorable and fun experiences! I wish I could do it again, next time :D

Kalinga Sa Bayan :) GK expo 2010

2010-10-13T14:12:00.000-07:00

This is probably one of the best weekends of my 2010. <3

Me and a couple of my fellow GK core group in school, attended the National Gawad Kalinga Expo of 2010 in Manila, we left Friday and came back Monday, exams. ugh, but so totally worth it! :D

Vicky, Lou, and me, totally flight ready! :P

This is TEAM LA SALLE-BACOLOD. not sure if there were other La Salle teams, we didnt meet any.

and Benjo :)

I love sitting by the window while flying. After riding on the plane a lot of times, the view of the clouds still amazes me.

And we have finally landed! :D

with Anika, who was there for the Adam Lambert concert, same trip though, yayy! :P

damn the Manila Friday night traffic, it took us 4 hours to get to La Salle Greenhills from the airport.

They are fixing the stage by the Pasig River, because there will be a GK-event there too the next day, and The "Run for Pasig" on Sunday.

This is the next morning, while waiting for our taxi to arrive and take us to Univ. of Makati. check our eyes out, it was soo obvious that we lacked sleep. We spent the night before prank calling our friend Marc in Bacolod, then we had to wake up really early because the Summit's registration time is 8:00 am.

with Bro. i-forgot-his name, he was nice, and he showed us around a little bit, until our ride arrived.

hello to the actual gawad kalinga expo, held at University of Makati.

with team La Salle college again. still incomplete :)

this was the band that played. awesome drumming skills man. :D

us again, with Miss Lormi.

This amazing folk-dancing team that represents the Philippines in international events, i forgot the name of their group.

a mixture of culture, literature and art. they were INCREDIBLE!

then reciting the old "Panatang Makabayan"

Sir Mari, sharing the "blue polo shirt" story ;) haha

BIHIS BAYANI, where students modelled GK shirts, bags, and other merchandise.

and this guy that my high school friends from St. Scho are crushing on. haha!

YAYY TEAM VISAYAS!! :D

and Tito Tony Meloto.

The afternoon was about the LGU's so they kind of didn't give much importance to the students, there were a lot of politicians there so we just sat on the floor.

it was all adult stuff, so we got a bit bored, and vain. there are more pictures, trust me, but this is just one of them ;)

Vice President Binay came, and talked for a bit.

and then this was the closest I could get. I am such a fangirl, haha!

V for VISAYAS! <3

me and Danica, I was serious about the no-sleep thing. see the eyebags?? haha

Fun bonding with team Visayas, :D after that, we came back to La Salle Greenhills to grab our stuff and go anywhere we would like to stay for the night (a whole lot of discussion before we were allowed. but yeah, we have such NICE teachers) Benjo called his best mate Marian, and we met her at Market-Market.

dinner! :D and Marian's meeting Lou for the first time, aww how cute! :)

we also met Benjo's cool mom!

Then lucky for us, Marian's apartment is just in front on Greenbelt, yeahhboyy

we weren't really shopping coz it was already 10, and most of the stores were already closed, so we just strolled around.

Then, a midnight foodtrip at this reaally awesome pizza place.

To Marian's apartment! it was literally just in front of Greenbelt, how cool is that???

The following day, Benjo and I rode an MRT to the ABS CBN studios, because of Anika, we got to watch ASAP XV live. talk about timing! thank you soo much Aniknaks! This was just a side trip <3>

I looked like shxt here, but what the hey, JLC woohoo!

So then, we didn't get to finish the show because we had to be by the Quezon City Circle for the continuation of the Gawad Kalinga Event we actually came to Manila for.

Mass, Parade, Program, guests and more. Pres. Noynoy Aquino came and talked, then after, FIREWORKS!

wise PSG, they snuck the president out while everyone was gazing at the colorful sky, haha

SPOTTED:

Mr. Ryan Cayabyab

Mr. Jett Pangan

and Jayson Fernandez of Rivermaya

After everything, we went to Trinoma for a little shopping, and what else? FOODTRIP! :D I'm only curious why this trip didn't make me gain weight. haha

first flight back. we were seriously groggy, haha, oh and I bought that Alice in Wonderland book to add to my collection. I'm such a literature nerd. I've always wanted to read that book ever since, and instead of shopping for clothes that was almost the ONLY thing I bought. haha!

Crystal Shawanda, You Can Let Go

2010-09-28T06:47:00.000-07:00

Wind blowin’ on my face
Sidewalk flyin’ beneath my bike
A five year-old’s first taste
Of what freedom’s really like
He was runnin’ right beside me
His hand holdin’ on the seat
I took a deep breath and hollered
As I headed for the street

You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Oh, I think I’m ready
To do this on my own
It’s still a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go

I was standin’ at the altar
Between the two loves of my life
To one I’ve been a daughter
To one I soon would be a wife
When the preacher asked,
‘Who gives this woman?’
Daddy’s eyes filled up with tears
He kept holdin’ tightly to my arm
‘Till I whispered in his ear

You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Oh, I think I’m ready
To do this on my own
It still feels a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go

It was killin’ me to see
The strongest man I ever knew
Wastin’ away to nothin’
In that hospital room
‘You know he’s only hangin’ on for you’
That’s what the night nurse said
My voice and heart were breakin’
As I crawled up in his bed, and said

You can let go now, Daddy
You can let go
Your little girl is ready
To do this on my own
It’s gonna be a little bit scary
But I want you to know
I’ll be ok now, Daddy
You can let go
You can let go

This is such a sad song :(

lets do it all again this Friday night

2010-09-26T02:59:00.000-07:00

LAST FRIDAY NIGHT, is not just an LSS. parts were actually true story to me and some of my friends. It was a fun adventure, but believe me, the next time I'm willing to do something like that, I'd take the Katy Perry song lyrics, literally! :D

It was Chineth's birthday and we went to her house to celebrate, yayy to the debutante!! I was feeling very hipster that day, hence the outfit and specs :) And I had my hair permed, but it didn't stay curly for more than a few hours. LESSON LEARNED. MONEY WASTED, so basically because of that, I was broke. good thing dinner was free :D

Chineth's boyfriend Carl, gaave her this puppy as a gift, its still nameless, and I just couldn't get enough of him, soooo adorable! :D

Our table, was the noisiest. LOL, Our friends Marc and Alfred became the hosts, and Me and Beanca had to do an impromptu number, I sang and she played the guitar :)

buko pandan is my favorite dessert of all time!

gradeschool friend reunited, yayy thats emil, me, and beanca :)

college friend/baby bear nenita, who gave me advice about my hair. HAHA :))

and the debutante :D

and the nameless cutie. :)

After Chineth's party Beanca, Marc, Alfred and I went to Sorrento, we had nothing to do really, we had no plans on going out, and we were broke. Alfred left to go to a "green" something and left us at Humo. We drank a little, and got just a little tipsy, haha. we talked about a lot of things, especially about love. Specifically, mine. Somehow, they enjoyed my escapades with the fallback. <3>

When we were finally sober we decided to just keep walking, we didn't have money left for more partying anyway, we decided to call Anika and bad news, she couldn't let us sleepover her house coz her other friends are sleeping there too, we panicked a bit, but kept laughing. Honestly, we didnt know what to do. HAHA :))

We went to have coffee and pancakes at Dunkin Donuts, it was already 3AM and we were almost too broke to buy more food. The text brigade to our friends started, asking whos willing to help us, who could let us sleep in their house, blah blah blah. In the end we gave up, Marc said, he had always wanted to try this experience, and we were all up for it. We thought about the hobos sleeping in the middle of the park, and just laughed at the idea not knowing that was where we were heading. We went to the Lagoon park, there were still people there too, but not too many.

doing the tourist pose pretending we just got off the first flight from God knows where.

And playing around the park until we got tired, and then finally settled into the grass.

Alfred slept immediately, Beanca and Marc was lying down on their jackets, and watched the stars. I didnt want to lie down the grass. I didnt want to sleep, the three of us just talked, about almost everything. None of us felt sleepy, at all.

The full moon was BEAUTIFUL (:

And then, talking got a bit boring, so we tried light painting, all this while Alfred was still sleeping comfortably in his very own grass bed. haha
Daybreak came and it was even better, to my other side I could still see the full moon, and to the other, I could see the orange starting to settle. It was the coolest sight ever.
In the end, I gave up to my back pains and laid in the grass too!

After a lot of people started coming to jog, me and my friends left the park. We had no money, ergo we had to walk to Marc's dorm. The road was peaceful, just a few cars were passing by except we heard a loud boom that sounded like a really2 close gunshot. Marc panicked as the four of us saw a car whose front tire popped and black smoke rose from it, the bumper fell and dragged to the road and the car slowed down towards us. Marc was way too far already, and me without any sense of survival at all just stared at the car, and decided it wasn't going to hit me.

It was another laughtrip moment, because the way Marc panicked was soo irrelevant, I heard the driver curse as we were walking away from the commotion. We tried to hide our laughter when Marc said he thought it was gonna go Final Destination on us.

When we arrived at Marc's dorm it was already 6something and we decided to munch on granola bars as we talked about our night, the three of us fell asleep at the bar downstairs, and then woke up and transferred to Marc's room. We woke up at about 9, had breakfast, and Beanca and Alfred was already gone then. Me, Marc, and his roommate Joevert went back to Lagoon coz they needed to practice for their friends cotillion, good thing I saw Dani, Benjo and other friends there who were practicing too. After all of it, we went to SM, then went home at around three pm.

NO ELECTRICITY! so i slept until 9pm and waited for the lights to turn on, by 11. :D

I will surely do this adventure again! :D

five feet and seven inches

2010-09-22T10:18:00.000-07:00

I am aware that I am a tall person.

a 5'7 at the age of seventeen, but what the heck, I didn't realize how my height affected the way other people see me. It's as if I'm "hard to reach" which I am soo not. I'm down to earth actually, people who hang out with me could say and prove that.

I never ever thought that my height is the first thing that people see in me. LOL, it's funny actually, I dont realize that I'm freakishly tall when I'm with my friends, I guess maybe that's the reason why I'm a "sloucher" I never stand straight, at all. unless I'm needed to. haha but I didn't actually think much about being the tallest girl in high school, or now, inside the classroom. I never realized it.

I've got a lot of tall friends too, but why is it that they could only notice me?

Don't get me wrong, the attention is fun, and I like it, but there is more to me than just my height. ;)

what do i really want?

2010-09-19T18:36:00.000-07:00

everything about you?

just you?

not you?

keeping myself busy

2010-09-16T07:03:00.000-07:00

yay to GAWAD KALINGA! :D
it is GK awareness week in school. we posted up tarps and stuff because we wanted to recruit more studients to join the next camp that we are facilitating.LOL :D awesum.

anyhoo, next week is La Salle's University week, and we will have a booth for recruitment. I was assigned to make the ID for the members, yay to layouting.

honestly I had no idea what to do, so this was my first draft:

it was a bit plain, and sad. they said they wanted more colors, like black, green and gold. so i redid the gradient, and added design to the "Bawat Lasalista, Bayani!". They wanted it to be more lively...

but i think, it ended just with more chrome. blaarg. I removed the "hero" thing at the bottom too. Next they wanted me to add a border to the photo, and a little decoration that looks significant for GK, and this came up.:

i don't like the house at the bottom though. i just got it off the net, so i really wanted to remove it. Now, all they need me to change is the color of the GK logos to yellow, and maybe make it a little bit, Philippines-y. (if there is such a word)

i added the Philippine flag at the back too. AND POOF! it became coco crunch, haha kidding. I'm pleased with the last one, and thankfully, they are too! I'm happy with this, these will be printed and be worn next week, I cant wait ;))

BAWAT LASALISTA, BAYANI! ANIMO LA SALLE! :D

WHY?

2010-09-16T05:51:00.000-07:00

i just really needed to rant this out.

i just don't know what to do anymore, and I honestly don't understand how a person could be like that to me. :(

I mean, what does he want to do with us? What does he want to tell me? I am so bothered by the way we act around each other. It's as if we're both playing with something that is supposedly real.

One friend of mine told me, "I think you're both unconsciously falling for each other."

Another one said, " You're a keeper on a player's mind."

I don't know what to think anymore, honestly.

I know we need to stop acting like however we are acting right now, coz the truth is, we are nothing. And I really don't want him to get used to the "us" that's always like- this.

We BOTH need to understand our limits. It's easier said than done.

changing perspectives.

2010-08-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

earlier today i went to a workshop for graphics design.(i was late, as usual) but it was a suuper duuper fun workshop, and I learned a lot. of course i didn't take notes since what they presented was mostly visual, and i didn't bring a book and a pen anyway.

i wasn't very interested to attend at first because seminars are always booring, but man was I wrong! I'm glad I went to this workshop. The speakers were famous graphic artists working in Manila, and just like me, as students, they were also very lazy (ok, maybe that's just me), they were not that active, or too "fond" of school either. i guess they were the type who went to school for fun and not for education. In that way, I connected with all three of them.

Mr. Mark Nikolas Martin, Mr. Paolo Dizon, and my fellow Bacolodnon Ms. Isabel Gatuslao, who was very very pretty and young-looking at the age of thirty. I thought she was kidding wen she first said it, Kurt fell in love, haha!

The workshop made me like graphic design more than photography, and it's a big deal for me, because I've been a photographer since sixth grade. Changing perspectives is quite hard for me since I have no actual basis for graphic designing. but wth, Its cool to try out new things, and maybe do both at the same time. :)

After the workshop, we had to shoot the poster for our multimedia class, I was so excited, because I wanted to be the photographer again, but both our male and female models couldn't make it, and so i had to stand in. We had no choice, and they convinced me with free lunch, soo what the heck. HAHAHA!

The product was San Mig Light, and we didnt ave any, so we ad to make do with an empty botle of vodka and a can of pepsi that could pass as SML if post processed. awkward, and hella funny. :)))

"You have to go through a lot of shit, to create a beautiful flower"

lol

2010-08-22T08:02:00.000-07:00

The last post was a few months old.
I was browsing through my tumblr, and found it.
It was really funny. And it was also a rally2 funny night.
I miss drunken nights with friends. right now, Im a responsible college student. gahh
how sad. I'm turning seventeen next2 week, good luck Gizel Kho. :)

the reunion ♥

2010-08-22T08:01:00.001-07:00

so here’s the story:

Khen realized not everyone is outside drinking beer, and enjoying the reunion he organized for us, he went into the room and got shocked at what he saw,

Buang and Rey watching National Geographic Channel

and Gizel reading a bible.

then we all went outside and joined them

so this happened

hahahaha :)) i miss my high school friends

BOYS WEEKEND xD (one week late post)

2010-08-20T06:53:00.000-07:00

last Saturday i went to manila. with these people. we almost didn't make it to boarding time because someone -AHEM JOEY AHEM- was 45 minutes late.

I'm posting an embarrassing shot of Joey(middle) to give him a lesson. >:)

thankfully, he arrived 2 minutes before they could close on us.
We were going to Manila for our friend Beau's birthday celebration.
I was with the boys and theese girls are just my New found friends, haha :)

Meet Ella and Jasmine, and our AWKWARD phase ;))

finally we have arrived! :) Beau Dylan! you're nineteen BRO! (laughing because he didn't even grow an inch *sorry beau*)

Next up, Beau's condo! should've stayed there, but we only went there to change after we ate out. :(

Awesome room, and view, I SWEAR!

PARTY TIME! :D Attica Bar in Makati

I was with the boys the whole time cause I didn't know any girls besides Ella and Jasmine, who had close girlfriends there too.

I have never felt so out of place in a room full of girls until that night. They were not mean, they were actually nice, we just weren't that close. :)

Thankfully "US" boys had the same thought of going out and going home.

Beau's house felt like a guys crash pad. It was soo Guy-ish, with the gadgets mac,ps,laptop, and probably a hidden porn stash somewhere, haha

Joey is sucha loser for sleeping first :))

And Vincent got played on by Alfonse and Giles. LOL :)

This is Khen playing something I don't understand
Alfonse playing NBA Live
And me stuck with NO ONE to talk to. :(

So then Beau and his Manila friends (and Jasmine) came, so the story gets even longer, but irrelevant. It ended up with me sleeping in the BCD boys room, and I didn't know what else was happening in the other rooms, HAHA

The next morning, was even funnier. I woke up first, so..

It was a riot when everybody else woke up :)))

Everyone else just realized their hunger at 12 noon.
We left for lunch by 2.

On the road for a lunch quest. Then finally found a place to eat, and then went chillin in the mall after.

GROCERY for DINNER! Khen the Mr. BBQ man, thanks for dinner! :P

A few shots, then an unplanned midnight swim. (btw, we needed to be at the airport by 3am)

NO SLEEP :( but it was uber fun! home sweet home :D

There are no more pictures after. This is my 3-days squeezed in one blog. :)) I went to my 730am class and skipped the others. I was sooo haggard and groggy, I couldn't believe that just a few hours before my photography class in Bacolod, I was swimming with my friends in Manila. That was totally awesome. Also, it was my first time to experience a turbulence in a flight. I actually wanted the plane to crash and just survive with my friends. Disturbing, I know. :))

After that weekend, I realized, nothing changed. Im still considered as a boy. :-( sigh.

busy busy

2010-08-09T20:15:00.000-07:00

Ever since this school year started, actually, ever since summer school.
I'VE NEVER HAD A WEEKEND sapent at home to rest. :(
sometimes, even school eats my sundays.
I should be proud, my social life is alive again, but my weekends now are mostly shoots for projects, edits, and shit. At first I was complaining at the lack of activities, but I didnt realize we have a lot, just mostly, techincal :|

i guess i was enjoying all the film and scriptwriting and acting and shit from last year. yeah we have photography now, but wth, I hate having to be forced to be creative.
Its like, you focus on the specific requirements and technicalities, that you lose the art in your work. i swear, my pictures are BLANK :(
ineedtofind INSPIRATION again

for Computer Application class

2010-08-05T00:46:00.000-07:00

we were supposed to write something that tells our teacher who we will be ten years from now. Soo, yeah

Ten years from now, I am already twenty-six. Still funny, still friendly, still thin, still jobless, still single and those are all my choice. I see myself living alone, in a quiet condominium unit somewhere in Manila; still the Philippines, still a citizen. I have a great view of the city lights at night. Sippin’ Starbucks coffee from a window in the 7th floor of the said condo looking down at the people walking around Manila Bay at two in the morning, waiting for my Mcdonald’s cheeseburger to finish in the microwave, thinking to myself, “What in the hell am I doing here when in fact I have no job to pay for all of this?”

A few minutes after the thought debated on my head, my microwave created a sound that emanated a sort of “DING!” I look behind me and opened it. The smell of the burger bounded the whole room. I was about to take a bite when my cell phone started resonating in a technical voice, “You’ve got a message!” again and again. Before it annoyed me, I opened my phone, ready to lash out on whoever it was that decided to disturb my peace at this time of night.
Louder and louder, it went. I feel heavy, my phone kept shouting, until the voice reverberated into some sort of human voice. “You’ve got a message! You’ve got a message!” This time I can hear the sounds of two metals clanked together. I woke up. “Kho! You’ve got a message!” yelled the prison guard watching my cell. Ten years from now, I am already twenty-six. Still thin, still jobless, still single, but it’s not my choice. I’ll be imprisoned for being a blunt writer, for writing propagandas about the lame government.

my friends found it funny so im sharing it :P

what do i do?

2010-07-27T07:12:00.000-07:00

im afraid to fall in love with a friend,
worse, a friend who has someone. :(

earlier i tried avoiding him, but it only felt worse :(

watched eclipse today

2010-07-02T05:01:00.000-07:00

it was a pretty so-so day.
i watched eclipse with Junko. we planned to have a foot massage but coin-tossed a split decision with watching a movie instead. Eclipse is the best Twilight movie so far, the first two SUCKED major balls :)))

i missed movie-dating with Junko. LOL and I missed hanging out with Angeline and Patricia.

Finally, I have one picture for our photography assignment. one more to go. And PE tomorrow, that's probably useful for the other concept. which is sports.

Godddd, I badly want to watch my favorite movie again tonight (Its a boy-girl thing) I missed it sooo much :))

sighhh.

another decision

2010-07-01T07:26:00.001-07:00

to go to manila or not to?
I have a month and 14 days to decide :))

My best friend's birthday

2010-06-30T07:14:00.000-07:00

Junko is finally seventeen! it was a totally unforgettable night! :))

Patricia came and i LOL'd at the fact that she had a new haircut. unfortunately, it was just like mine. well, she was consistent when she denied copying me, haha COPYCAT! lol jk Trish, i still love you

Quincy's sister was at the same place, and whoopidee, she had the same do. :)) :|

Me and Angeline became friends again. ♥ yeahh I missed her THIS much!

And HELL YEAH i look good with Joelo, hahaha! even though I never had a crush on him, not even once. This night, we admitted to Joelo that Junko, Angeline, and probably a lot of our other classmates were fighting over him, HAHAHAHA his reaction was priceless!

it has been TOO long

2010-06-30T06:44:00.000-07:00

honestly, i go too caught up with tumblr.
its a fun site i tell ya, but i could never really actually just be personal, ya kno?
is like,a place where you are too public. LOL
and i never really blogged there, just, updated.
so basically I've been out of this site for quite a while. and i missed it. the same way i missed multiply, oh and yeah, i deleted my friendster :)) haha

im already in my second year of college, the last time i was complaining about screenings and portfolios and everything else, guess what, I WAS TOP SEVEN!
hellz to the yeah! :D

i got majors this sem, stuff like interpersonal communication, photography, and communication ethics. :P
MY TEACHERS SCARE ME.
and the othr one is a bout to throw a fit if I come to class late again tomorrow. i am soo dead. but i love college, its been one hell of a trip.

i am getting busier by the year, and now i cant find time to hang out with my high school friends anymore.
i had plans of getting my hair permed, getting a foot massage, watching a movi and going to ilo-ilo with Junko, but honetly were not that rich, haha!

speaking of, last summer I was in Ilo-ilo with Aeson for a cinematograhy workshop, it was hella fun. I miss my new friends already, we've been with them for just two days but we really miss them. I had summer class, which involved a looot of new stuff, and friends. and I miss my orgs. :( life is soo dang buy all te time, I cant imagine what it would be like if I already graduate.

Me and Junko are complaining about Bacolod and how tired we already are of living in it, we want to go to some place new for a change, some place where nobody knows us. no dramas, no hang-ups. just new environment, and new everything. Manila... i miss you so much.
(I hate the fact that I'm typing this with wet nails)

Im gonna start photoblogging about my days soon. maybe I'll start tomorrow, or later. hmm, i'd probably do it for many days until i finally get tired of doing i. aha :))

at the moment

2010-02-17T02:58:00.000-08:00

i can't find inspiration anymore..
:(

for now, i am confused(?)
not actually sure what i am taking about, but..
i cant even finish this sentence without thinking hard, reaaaally hard.

message from the valentines bitch

2010-02-14T23:55:00.000-08:00

ranting about to begin in

5

4

3

2

1..

Okay, so how messed up is it that i decided to post here because i know nobody reads this, and my thoughts that needed to come out are too embarrassing to actually be told?

well yeah, so this is me after Valentines Day.
which basically means, bitching about being alone on that dreaded celebration.
hey, i could have just celebrated the day with my family and considered the other holiday, which is chinese new year. I'm Chinese, after all.

But i know my dad would've thought about it as my disguise for having a dateless valentines, and so i kept my mouth shut.
and wallowed in my thoughts. HAH!

Actually, me and my "single" friends decided to have a date of our own, go to Victory, then watch a movie, but i had to cancel because the day before, we shot our project for english in mid-day so i was pretty burnt.
like literally BURNT.

it was too painful to move my arms, and i was actually too lazy to just leave the house without the car.
also, i was broke. Actually, i was not.
i lost my wallet last Monday, hopefully at home, but i could'nt find it, and its been a week now. :( So i didn't actually have anything to pay for the damned movie i was supposed to watch.

so i stayed at home on the 14th. woke up with a massive headache, because of staying out in the sun the day before and i just laid in bed to rest, but watched the replay episodes of Keeping up with the Kardashians, and complained about my life not being like theirs. I worsened my headache, probably because of the radiation, and so i felt really sick that night.

i puked my dinner that night [too much information, but hey, nobody reads this, haha] and drank my meds, and then i puked it out too. horrible!

i slept at nine thirty, which is too early for my normal sleeping time which is 11:30. I'd like to complain some more about my shitbag of a life but i feel that the more i think about it, the more hateful it is.

I kept thinking about my wallet, i feel bad about the money, but i feel worse about the pictures, and the twenty-peso-bill folded into a ribbon that has been there for more than a year, it is VERY sentimental, so i really need to find that wallet. :(((

Also, my size 28 waistline is already considered, "the fattest" in the collection i'm supposedly joining for the fashion week. God i really don't want to be bulimic.
So i'm still thinking as to whether imma be pursuing this modeling thing, or not.
I feel too smart to be a model, but too tall to not be. That is where I could actually find myself NOT standing out. haha!

I'm gonna end this, so

bye

stressed out jumbo

2010-02-08T03:55:00.000-08:00

last week has been hell for me.
i broke down coz i was sooo stressed.
the portfolio took a huge toll on my sleeping habits, and even though im actually kind of nocturnal(haha),i grew huge eye bags and felt sleepy most of the time.

i think i could still use a couple hours of sleep, but i still have a lot of work to do.

gohd, im just starting out college and im already as busy as an actual working person.

i finally passed my portfolio last Friday. Had to miss a whole day's worth of school just to be able to finish it, and guess what? It could still be passed by Monday.
i felt a total FML moment right there.

But i just thought to myself, that at least, i didnt have to keep working on it and stressing myself out, right?
i'm finally done with everything about it, except the screening of course, but the portfolio is finished, and i couldn't be any happier, i felt really light after all of that, like literally. Maybe its a psychological thing, but i dont really care.

This week, is exam week. Just a few more problems to face for the midterm, and finally, its all gonna be over.

and okay, i hope.

i am doing my portfolio

2010-02-02T05:13:00.000-08:00

i dont like it that much, but im not cramming.
so i think that's good.
it takes up a lot of my time though, so yeahh. bye.

guess what. stamp me LOSER!

2010-01-25T06:18:00.000-08:00

guess what?
i decided to start with my portfolio today, but then procrastination got the best of me. I tend not to start on something when I know, that I'd have to go through a long process of searching things, like for example, old pictures, certificates, etcetera.

guess what?
i totally looked like horseshit! Not that I look any better now, but I found my ninth grade pictures, and they were the WORST! long curly hair, with really short curly bangs. Teeth, don't get me started on the teeth, i don't even know what happened to it,haha. My uniform was just a tad too big, and my skirt was reaaaally long. Like an over-the-top catholic school girl who forgot to brush her hair, every-single-day.

guess what?
I'm starting to realize how pathetic I was in high school. Not a hint of any great achievement. Not something cool that I could actually show off to anyone. "Grand Top Library Borrower" and "Poster Making Contest Champion". Wow, I spent three innocent years in high school, and got sissy awards like that. I could totally go for "Champion Track Racer" or something like "Best Sharp-shooter" but nooo, I just had to be the one who borrows a lot of books from the lib.FML.

guess what?
My senior year was the best. Earlier today, I was back in the IS doing stuff for Yearbook, and i found all the things related to eleventh grade. Like things about my classmates and batchmates. (Yes, I snooped around the old files when Aeson and Benjo left me there in the office, tsk.) I found pictures, and contact details, and the index cards where we used to write stuff about our classmates. i miss my eleven c. :(

guess what?
I suck as a writer. The first one out of my untitled series got ZERO reads, and even I am not convinced about it. I am sooo lame. ZOMG. I feel like a nerd at this very moment, THIS IS NOT A HAPPY PLACE. My words have betrayed me. (shit, i just sounded like a loser who likes to read) I'm gonna stop reading, unless somebody tells me what good I can get from it, socially. My friends and family think I read too much, even though I fail too see anything wrong about it. Stamp me LOSER!

guess what?
I'm gonna talk about music so that I could stop feeling like the pathetic, miserable loser that I am. That's something I'm actually good at. Or so that's what others think. Here we go again... The truth is, I don't believe that what I have is special. They're probably just telling me that to make me feel better, or because were friends, or family. I feel sensitive about certain things, especially singing. And singing in front of my family is the worst. I am always inferior to myself when I know I'm gonna be singing for them. Stamp me LOSER!

guess what?
I play the piano! :D GAH. I never actually finished learning a complete song. shit. see? i find negativity in just about anything! And they say I'm an optimistic kind of person. A thousand miles? yeah, i memorized it, but I skip the bridge part, coz i don't know how to play it, stamp me LOSER! I know how to sing and play the whole song Stupid for You by Marie Digby, but its too easy, even a 5-year old could probably do better, stamp me LOSER! fml

when will the gods ever stop picking on me?

FILM

2010-01-25T01:41:00.000-08:00

what do i like about it?

why am i in love with it?

GAH.

Untitled- Chapter 1

2010-01-16T05:13:00.000-08:00

"I feel as if I don't belong to the world."

She thought to herself as she fidgeted with her heart-shaped locket given to her by her late grandmother. She never had much friends ever since she moved to her new town. Sadly, she has been here for more than three years. Not your typical average-girl. She's not popular, she's not ignored, although she is the one who separates herself from everyone else. An outcast, if you must say, but she's not actually the type of person you tend to mess with.

Not really scary, or the bullying kind, not even the bullied, but there's something about her. Different. Genuine. Almost as if she doesn't really belong to the world.

"Hey, you wanna have lunch with us?" Joe was usually modest. He was the everybody's-friend kind of guy. In a school where stereotyping is a big deal, Joe is the kind of person who can just hang around with anyone.

"I..uh..kind of have something to do.. for lunch period.." she said as a lame excuse, then quickly thought of something that would sound really important for her to skip lunch.

"Well then, I guess I'll see you free period?" He asked again.

"I guess.." just to get him to shut up.

As a senior, you wouldn't really have much classes when its almost just a few days away from graduation. She doesn't really hang around school much. She thinks that the longer she stays there, the harder it would be for her to get rid of the scent of the fresh-cut field grass or the old paint of the lockers.

The scent? That's not the real reason why she doesn't want to stay. Memories of this school still haunt her, it probably will forever. A memory she wants to forget but never will.

She slammed her locker door shut and went across the hallway. Judgmental eyes looked begrudgingly to her direction but she decided to dismiss them. Might as well pretend to be the superficial, conscienceless person everyone assumes her to be, right?

Now, all she needed to do is wait for three more days. Three more days, that doesn't seem to be enough for her classmates. Two more nights of sleep before their batch will finally graduate. An event she can't wait to be done with, while it is the kind of event her classmates don't ever want to go through.

She walked through the busy hallway looking down, hearing the echoes of spiteful whispers that she was meant to hear.

"She did it.."
"She killed them."

Slouching towards the door, she tried protesting a tear from falling from her eye but she was weak. She went out to the parking lot, scanned around for her car, and went towards it.

"KILLER."
She read the big bold letters of the wet blue spray paint vandalized on her car door.

I did not. I did not kill them.
It wasn't my fault.

And so, she started her car and left. The sight of the road and the trees all merged into a blur that faded past her as her car drove towards the mountains.
The place where they died.

I did not. I did not kill them.
It wasn't my fault.

February 17

2010-01-16T03:38:00.000-08:00

i decided to make short stories to enhance my writing skills.
three weeks from now, i will be passing my portfolio for the Mass Comm screening.
if i pass,i will continue on till second year, if I don't- i will have to find a different course. and im pretty sure i wont have much passion for it as i do for my course now.

its pretty nerve-wracking considering i don't really have substantial works, activities or credentials that i could put in my portfolio.
TAG LINE: sell yourself (to the panel)
what could i sell? i only worked for school publishing in grade school, and it all went downwards after that. I was too lazy during high school, and all that mattered for me at that time were nonsense pranks.
now i realize i should've existed when i still had the chance.

im pretty scared about the 5th of February, no, actually the 17th- screening day, im hoping the panel would be nice to me, but deep inside i know that that's impossible.

im pretty sure, nobody reads my blogs anyway, so i will let loose- or so i hope. ;)

random

2009-11-27T03:15:00.001-08:00

its frustrating.

every time i try to get in this account, i have to change my password. X(

to calm myself down, i' ve decided to let things pass. and be random, again.

JOE BROOKS ♥
-google him. he's MY superman.haha

FACEBOOK
-a new past time, :))

how do i download a vid from youtube? :((

SINGING
-is good when you're not doing it in front of your family.
-triggers inferiority complex towards a family member/s

WHY???

DADDY WEEK

2009-01-05T03:04:00.000-08:00

is done. :((

daddy week, is happening once every year, or every 2-3 years. :(
its when my dad gets to come home from manila for a whole year or two, and stay just 5-9 days.
and this has been happening since i was what, 5?
so how does he make up for, [give and take] ten years of absence?
well, i dunno. although, there is progress this year, progress between him and my mom's "friendship" and i did'nt say relationship because, well, you know the drill. HAHA :D

anyway, a lot can happen in a span of seven days.
friendly hugs, fight,talk, fight, bicker,quarrel, argue,dinner, the usual family scene.
oh, usual, for us maybe. lol

anyway, i was so glad during new year's eve because the only thing i heard mom and dad argue about was the weather. LOL mom says the rain would stop coz its new year, and if it didnt, the whole year will be rainy. dad was on the side that it wouldnt stop raining. it was all casual until the second day.
the third day was better though. it was fun. fake fun, real fun..and just funny. i wouldnt let it all go up to my head though.

and from then on, well, i just dont know. :)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

happy effin new year?

2008-12-31T09:54:00.000-08:00

you know what makes it sad?
its probably the memories.
yeap, its the memories alright.
the happy memories that once start running back to your mind,
feels like painstakingly removing double-edged swords from your throat.

happy new year, yeah. HAPPY new year.
Happy effin new year.

last years' "new year" i had soo much fun, even though my family did not make a big deal about it [unlike the way they do every year], i had fun. i had a HAPPY new year.
this new year? well, it was happy. it was loud, i tell you, but it was just plain happy. :/

fine, i miss last year's countdown. the countdown just between the two of us. =(

dalawanglibotsiyam♥

2008-12-30T07:12:00.001-08:00

ganito yun o.
kasi, marami akong nararamdamang emosyon. emosyon na takot, sabay tuwa.
tuwa, dahil natatapos naman ang taon;
takot, dahil natatapos na ang taon.

kasi, maraming nangyari sa taong ito, mga pagyayari na ni hindi ko kahit sa panaginip naisip na mangyayari pala bago nagsimula ang taon. maraming pagbabago, maraming pananatili. marami din ang nawala, at dumating sa buhay ko.

may mga bagong kaklase't kaaway, may bagong pangalan, may muntikang nasirang pagkakaibigan, may unang beses napuntahang mga lugar na nais pag-iwanan nang masasamang memorya, may mga kasalanang hindi na kailanmay maibabalik pa, may mga nagawang nais ipa-alam sa buong mundo, may mga nakilalang nais mabura sa pag-iisip, at meron ding mga nakilalang ayaw kailanman kalimutan (:

konti lang ito sa maraming pangyayari sa tatlong daan-animnapu't-apat na araw sa taon na 2008. bukas na ang huling araw sa taong ito, natanong ko sa sarili ko, may nagawa ba akong napakaganda kung kayat dapat isapuso ko itong taon na ito? O baka naman karumaldumal na nais kong ibura ang 2008 sa calendaryo nang buhay ko?

sa susunod na taon po, akoy magtatapos na nang aking pag-aaral sa sekondarya, masakit mang isipin, pero, iiwanan ko na ang naging simula nang lahatlahat ng ito. hindi ko na ito matatakasan at lalung-lalo na hindi ko rin ito mababalikan. mahirap magpaalam, pero kailangan. :(

isa lang ang nais kong iparating, may mga nangyari mang hindi natin inasahan, o ginusto, ang taong ito ay hinding hindi ko kakalimutan, dahil nakilala ko kayo, nakilala kita.;) at ang buong taon ay pinuno ng ibat-ibang kulay na kahit kailan hindi ko na isip na nag eeksist pala sa mundo natin, dahil sa inyo, sa mga taong nakapalibot sa akin, sa mga kaibigang walang sawang pagtiwala, sa mga kapamilyang nagiintindi palagi, at sa minamahal na andyan lang. [HAHA]

salamat.♥

sana, ang susunod na taon, ay hindi kasing lungkot nang pagtatapos ng taon ngayon.

INJUSTICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!

2008-12-29T08:38:00.000-08:00

i got this story from Br Arian's blog. http://arweefsc.multiply.com/journal/item/358/Today_we_start_the_change...
Here's the daughter's blog entry... (click here for her site)

At around 1:30 PM today, at Valley Golf and Country Club, Antipolo City, Mayor Nasser Pangandaman, Jr., Mayor of Masiu City, Lanao del Sur, his father, Secretary Nasser Pangandaman of the Department of Agrarian Reform, and company, beat my defenseless 56-year-old dad and my 14-year-old brother to a pulp because of some stupid misunderstanding on the golf course.

This is a golf course. I have been a golfer all my life, and I have never seen anything like this. NOTHING. This is hard to comprehend. And it happened to my own father and my own brother too. Right in front of my eyes.

My brother and I were playing golf at the South Course of Valley. We were on the 3rd hole, and we see two golf carts going past us, overtaking our flight, and setting up to tee off on the next hole. My dad goes up to them and asks them why they would do that, why they would overtake us without even asking for our permission. Golf etiquette 101. One of the guys says that they're with the flight in front of us. (So what? That doesn't give them the right to just pass us WITHOUT asking.) So, we go to the 5th hole. The flight behind us catches up with us, and asks us what caused the hold up. We said that this flight just slipped in front of our flight. So we complained to the marshall. We play the 5th hole and walk towards the next hole, where there is a teehouse, and both the flights in front of us were there, talking with the marshall. The mayor of Masiu City, Lanao del Sur talks with my dad. Things get heated up. Voices were raised. But never, in my wildest dreams, did I ever imagine that someone would pull out a punch. Apparently not. He attacks my father. His flightmates, maybe 2 or 3 of them, rush to his aid and beat up my father. My 56-year-old father. My younger brother and I could not just watch. We rushed to break the fight. My younger brother pleads to the mayor to please stop it. To not hurt my dad. To just stop. His words still ring through my head..."Sorry na po, sorry na po...tama na...tama na po..." With his hands in front of his chest in a praying position. PLEADING. The mayor socks him in the face. My brother defended himself. My dad is still on the ground getting clobbered. My brother is the same way. I try to stop the fight, but all I can do is stop one person. There were 4 or 5 of them attacking now.

Someone breaks up the fight. I thought it was all over. The mayor shouts to his caddy: "Hindi nila kami kilala! Sabihin mo nga sa kanila kung sino ako!" And believe me, I had no idea who this person was. But now I know. He's the person who, with 4 other men, beat up my 56-year-old father and my 14-year-old brother. He's the person who sacks a pleading 14-year-old kid in the face. He's a person who, I am sure, is gonna rot in hell.

I lash out, but my dad held me back. I was screaming my lungs out, shouting to this mayor, telling him about what he had done. I said:"Nakakahiya kayo. Singkwenta'y sais anyos ang tatay ko. And kapatid ko kakatorse anyos. Anong ilalaban nila sayo?"

The mayor looks at my brother, point to his face, and says, "Tatandaan kita!" And he tells me that my brother has a bad attitude and that I need to watch him. WHAT THE HELL?! So, my brother's bad for defending his father?!

We leave. We walk to the clubhouse to file a complaint. My brother asks for a doctor. My dad could barely walk. Their group comes to the clubhouse, sees my brother. Once again my brother pleads, says sorry, and is crying. He was CRYING, for crissakes. But no. The relentless mayor still punches him in the face, and then sees my dad and goes after my dad again. Him and his friend pull my dad to the ground, pulls at his feet, and steps on him like he's dirt. I run to him and try to hold him back, holding him back by his shirt, while this other guy and this girl tries to stop me. She tells me to just stop it. I scream in her face "they're beating my father up and you want me to stop?!" I pull at his shirt--I don't let go. All I can see was my dad being trampled on. I didn't even see my brother getting beat up.

People pull them away. I get my dad, and I saw my brother. His right ear was bleeding. I freaked out. I told the receptionists to bring my brother to the clinic. I pull my dad away. People were separating us.

My mom and my older brother come. I tell her Bino's right ear is bleeding. They both look like they could kill. My dad holds my brother off, I hold off my mom. When I finally got my mom under control, my older brother gets away and I hold him off. Two of the mayor's bodyguards pull out guns. I embraced my brother from the back, just holding him back, crying. The receptionists came to us, crying, hugging me, my dad, and my mom, whispering to us to just leave. "Maam, umalis na po kayo, may mga baril sila...Maam...umalis na po kayo please..."

I am pretty sure the Secretary of DAR did not take part in the fight, but he just watched all this happen. He watched two of his sons, as we figured out, the other guy was his son, too, beat up my father and my 14-year-old brother. He didn't do anything to stop it. And this person is what now? A cabinet member. A politician.

Sounds like something out of a movie, doesn't it? But this is what happened. TODAY. The day after Christmas. To my family. And all I ask for is JUSTICE. The people at Valley Golf did not seem to want to help us. None of the security guards even tried to stop the fight. Right in the clubhouse. I came back after the fight was over and talked to the receptionists. They say they did not see anything. The general manager of Valley Golf would not give us the names of the men who made my brother's ear bleed. It took him an hour. Maybe even more than that. He seemed to not want to help us. Because, we were against the SECRETARY OF THE DEPARTMENT OF AGRARIAN REFORM and the MAYOR OF MASIU CITY, LANAO DEL SUR. They were all scared.

The world has gone crazy. Two politicians beat up a defenseless 56-year-old father and his 14-year-old son. At a golf course. I swear to God, I thought golfers were decent people. You would think politicians were decent people. I guess not. I guess they gang up on 56-year-old men and beat up pleading 14-year-old kids.

Please pray for my dad, my brother and for my whole family. Please pray that we get JUSTICE. Oh God, please, give these people what they deserve.

praying for?

2008-12-20T04:51:00.000-08:00

well, its all different now.
not that it progressed in some way, but im hoping it will... SOON.
it's just hard to leash someone you do'nt even own.
its hard to own someone who does'nt want to be owned.

chancee? as if!

i miss a lot of things..

2008-12-07T07:27:00.000-08:00

and one of them is blogging..

i have a lot to say but, im too lazy to write, type, or even say it out loud.
yeah, something's wrong with me, im aware of that. :P

**YAYY to twilight!**

watched the movie, it was disappointing, if you read the book before watchin, but for a movie, it was pretty okay. :P
it lacks background music though. and if i was casting it,

the one playing Alice would be the Bella. :)
Kristen just sounds like a guy, srsly.
the Victoria should be Rosalie, and vice versa.
i mean cmon' the Victoria was waaay prettier than Nikki R. =p
[sorry Nik,]

besides, she looks more like the protagonist in a movie ;) hehe

the movie was not 5-star but it was pretty likeable.
besides, Rob P. is waaaaaaaay drool-worthy.
SOO edward cullen.
and i love the book, so sue me.

hahaha. i saw Stephenie Meyer's cameo. =p
it was a quick 2 second smile. :)
BUT I SAW HER! lol ;0))

SENiOR YEAR

2008-10-13T07:02:00.000-07:00

they aint kidding mann...

IT's freaking HARRDDD..
LOL

graduation. =p

why dont i kiss him?

2008-09-27T23:46:00.000-07:00

this song is my current LSS. :)
WHY DONT YOU KISS HER?- by jesse mccartney
a sad song, but somehow, it is reality.

this part of the lyrics struck me:

"Why don't you let her see
The feelings that you hide
Cuz she'll never know
If you never show
The way you feel inside"

let her see, the feelings that you hide.
LET HER SEE THE FEELINGS THAT YOU HIDE.
let HER see.
her.
how does it apply to us- girls?

i mean, i understand jesse's song, completely, except, its from a guy's perspective. :(
what if we change it? to this:

"Why dont you kiss him?
Why dont you tell him?
Why don't you let him see
The feelings that you hide
Cuz he'll never know
If you never show
The way you feel inside"

it doesnt work right?
why? coz girls cant just do that to guys.
its like an unwritten rule that everybody understands.
and they dont think its unfair?
like, why cant girls court guys? why can girls tell what they feel? why do girls need to keep quiet?

when a guy musters his pride, and talk to the girl he loves, everybody[even guys too] think is sweet. but, when a girl does it, its a different story.

another song to share:
Marie Digby's Stupid for You
here's a line:

"The proper thing to do
Is for me to act like a lady and wait
For you to make the first move"

get my point? UNFAIR right? why do we have to wait?
guys dont wait, and even if the girl doesnt like them, they are, at least given a chance.
girls? girls wouldnt know if they could get any chance at all, just cause, they have to be proper and act like a lady.

what a sad, sad truth.
what an unfair reality. :(

bahha

2008-09-16T04:42:00.000-07:00

im starting eclipse! yayayyy

im too bored. and i realized, i love reading.. alot.
ive been watching youtube since 4:30 pm today, and thats not normal coz i usually arrive home from school 7pm. :|

in other news, im still not over it, and i dont think you or any other soul not named emile angela daquila, junko lim or angeline gargar could understand whatever im talking about here. lol.

soo yeaahh, its hard.. realy haard. :|
i have to go offline now, being a senior sucks arse.

i have millions of projects and homeworks, and believe me, i never thought about it even once ever since i was in eight grade. (:)
im not a nerd or anything, but second quarter will be tragic for me. i have to do good [and with me, that is haaard] to be able to join the batch trip next semester.. hohum

welllllll, my lazy arse wont move so i dont know how i could start on that book. lol gaahddd..

btw, alexa's back.. and im sooo happy, i missed her so much! loveee alexaa!!

so, i have to stop and stand up now..
computers are tempting.. computers with internet are ADDICTING. XD

-gio